We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
