you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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