New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
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For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize