Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
