We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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