I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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