so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
