i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
