I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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