The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
