so explain again why im purple
no
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
