I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
