ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I got inside last night via doggy door
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
