1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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