I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
