i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
