You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
