Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
