We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
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Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
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I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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