apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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