I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize