a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
