I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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