Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize