I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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