she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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