Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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