just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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