Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
