it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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