I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
how drunk are you?
Several
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
