its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize