I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
