I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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