Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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