saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
