My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
