This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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