i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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