Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
