Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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