can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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