we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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