I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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