I looked at my own cervix.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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