Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
