Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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