My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
