You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Threesome in a minivan. New low
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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