wanna go halves on a baby?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
