I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
These tits shall not be calmed
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
