dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
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The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
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I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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