Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
