so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
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I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
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HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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