ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
