Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
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She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
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I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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