he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
