So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
that is very illegal...i love you.
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