I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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