gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
