Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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