Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
