I seem to have left my pride at pride
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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