Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
