is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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