I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
