I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
