She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
